How to Gracefully Leave an Uncomfortable Date.

Hello everyone, I hope each of you had a wonderful weekend. 


I was talking to a dear friend of mine and she has asked me to do a series of blogs and radio shows about dating and how to deal with a variety of unexpected situations. She is new to the dating world and is running into some issues with overly aggressive men. 


So, today I am going to talk about how to gracefully end an uncomfortable date. The world of dating really can be exciting and fun. There are many wonderful men out there. I know according to every thing you read or watch on TV... there is a shortage of good men. Not true, there are plenty of good men available to date and eventually create a lasting relationship.

If you are careful (not overly-cautious), confident, happy, and truly enjoy the company of men. You will be amazed at the types of wonderful guys you will meet. Yes, you will meet a few odd ones here and there. But, overall if you are expecting a good experience you will have one.


Let's get back to the uncomfortable date. First I want to be sure you have done the following before you go on any date. Here's your checklist:

1. Actually speak (emails and texts do not count) to your date at least 2 - 3 times before you physically meet. And, you have gotten to know a few things about him.
2. Select a public place for your date. (Isolated romantic spots can wait until you are officially dating and you have more background information about him.)
3. Drive your own car. (I recommend doing this for the first few dates)
4. Select a place that has valet parking and use the valet. It may cost you a few dollars, but your safety is worth it. Especially, if you are removing yourself from a date gone wrong. He will be unable to follow you to your car if it is being brought to you. (Safety First!)
5. Let someone close to you know your dates name and where you are going.
6. Leave his phone # with a close friend or family member. 
7. Make arrangements to call your friend when the date is over and you have arrived home safely.
8. Use Common Sense... this is a date with someone you really Do Not know.

Now, if you are on the date and are feeling uncomfortable... Maybe your date has made it very clear he expects you to come to his place when you are done with dinner. And, you have told him no. He keeps talking about it and is becoming disrespectful as you continue to say no. Do the following:

1. LEAVE... Yes, get up from the table and go. Do not sit there and continue to allow someone to make you feel bad. You are not being impolite. You are simply withdrawing from a situation that is no longer enjoyable and you may feel will become even more unpleasant if you remain. Your self-respect is a priority.

Simply sharing a meal with someone does not entitle him to anything more than the pleasure of your company. You are not obligated to kiss him good night, have sex with him, or any other thing that you have no desire to do. I know things can get a little twisted out there. I have heard a few of the insults a man will use if things are not going as he planned.


If you have run into this type of person. It is not a true man that you are dealing with and you need to cut ties as soon as possible. A gentleman is enjoyable and gracious. He is willing to take his time to get to know you. He will not do or say things to make you feel uneasy.  A true gentleman is there to spend time to learn more about you and give you a chance to learn more about him. No strings attached... Period.


Hopefully, this brief blog will at least remind you to always put your safety first. Ending a lousy date is not the end of the world. You will go on another date and continue to meet wonderful new people. Let the icky ones go.


If you have any dating questions or concerns. You can email them to me at romancesexandlove@gmail.com.


Have a sensuous and sexy day,


Cyndi Harris aka "Madame C"
http://yoursexybest.com 

Cougar Love

For some reason the term "Cougar" has been on my mind. As most of you know, "Cougar" is the word used to describe and an older woman who dates younger men. I love the word, even though, I have been involved in a couple of potentially heated debates with women who find the word offensive. In their minds, the word describes older women who are desperately seeking the attention of younger men.

Really? Well, I do not know what planet these particular women are living on. Women like Demi Moore, Tina Turner, Joan Collins, and May West, a few stars noted for dating and marrying younger men, do not seem desperate to me. And the women I know, like myself, who date younger men are far from desperate as well. Dating younger men is hardly a new trend. It has been going on for years.

These so-called "cubs" aka younger men are rather persistent suitors, who quite confidently pursue us. These men make it very clear that they find older women attractive, intelligent, and extremely sexy. And here's a newsflash... the majority of these men are not looking for a meal ticket or free ride. I have been told time and time again that they have a hard time relating to younger women and prefer the elegance, excitement, and experience of someone older.

I applaud these guys. They know what and who they want and are learning how to approach us and keep us interested in them. Think about this for a second... within this group there are many up and coming brilliant businessmen in their late 20's to late 30's. These younger men are the creators of businesses like internet training, social media, and other tools we use today. Or at the very least understand how to use the products and have created successful businesses (on and offline) that cater to the world. They are very driven individuals and they want to share their success with someone who can appreciate what they are doing. So, they look to older women. Our life experience is attractive to them. 

As an older women who does date younger men. I admit initially I was skeptical. Especially, when I have guys as young as my sons hitting on me. But, when I finally decided to relax and enjoy the company of someone younger than me. I was pleasantly surprised.

He was 12 years younger than me and had 2 thriving and successful businesses and was creating a third one that has become quite successful as well. He was great company, interesting to talk to, a sensual and passionate lover. He was an absolute gentleman. We had a wonderful time together. The relationship only ended because, he wanted to get married and I was not ready. I learned a great deal from him and since him have dated other younger men. I love their appreciation and enthusiasm for us.

So, the next time a younger guy approaches you and expresses an interest in getting to know you. If you are single, don't be so quick to discourage his attention. Spend a little time getting to know him; you may be in for a beautiful and sexy surprise. Let the wisdom of your inner Sex Goddess come out to play and bask in the admiration of someone who has the intelligence and good taste to appreciate you.

Have a sensuous and sexy day.