Hello everyone, I hope each of you had a wonderful weekend.
I was talking to a dear friend of mine and she has asked me to do a series of blogs and radio shows about dating and how to deal with a variety of unexpected situations. She is new to the dating world and is running into some issues with overly aggressive men.
So, today I am going to talk about how to gracefully end an uncomfortable date. The world of dating really can be exciting and fun. There are many wonderful men out there. I know according to every thing you read or watch on TV... there is a shortage of good men. Not true, there are plenty of good men available to date and eventually create a lasting relationship.
If you are careful (not overly-cautious), confident, happy, and truly enjoy the company of men. You will be amazed at the types of wonderful guys you will meet. Yes, you will meet a few odd ones here and there. But, overall if you are expecting a good experience you will have one.
Let's get back to the uncomfortable date. First I want to be sure you have done the following before you go on any date. Here's your checklist:
- Actually speak (emails and texts do not count) to your date at least 2 - 3 times before you physically meet. And, you have gotten to know a few things about him.
- Select a public place for your date. (Isolated romantic spots can wait until you are officially dating and you have more background information about him.)
- Drive your own car. (I recommend doing this for the first few dates)
- Select a place that has valet parking and use the valet. It may cost you a few dollars, but your safety is worth it. Especially, if you are removing yourself from a date gone wrong. He will be unable to follow you to your car if it is being brought to you. (Safety First!)
- Let someone close to you know your dates name and where you are going.
- Leave his phone # with a close friend or family member.
- Make arrangements to call your friend when the date is over and you have arrived home safely.
- Use Common Sense... this is a date with someone you really Do Not know.
Now, if you are on the date and are feeling uncomfortable... Maybe your date has made it very clear he expects you to come to his place when you are done with dinner. And, you have told him no. He keeps talking about it and is becoming disrespectful as you continue to say no. Do the following:
- LEAVE... Yes, get up from the table and go. Do not sit there and continue to allow someone to make you feel bad. You are not being impolite. You are simply withdrawing from a situation that is no longer enjoyable and you may feel will become even more unpleasant if you remain. Your self-respect is a priority.
Simply sharing a meal with someone does not entitle him to anything more than the pleasure of your company. You are not obligated to kiss him good night, have sex with him, or any other thing that you have no desire to do. I know things can get a little twisted out there. I have heard a few of the insults a man will use if things are not going as he planned.
If you have run into this type of person. It is not a true man that you are dealing with and you need to cut ties as soon as possible. A gentleman is enjoyable and gracious. He is willing to take his time to get to know you. He will not do or say things to make you feel uneasy. A true gentleman is there to spend time to learn more about you and give you a chance to learn more about him. No strings attached... Period.
Hopefully, this brief blog will at least remind you to always put your safety first. Ending a lousy date is not the end of the world. You will go on another date and continue to meet wonderful new people. Let the icky ones go.
If you have any dating questions or concerns. You can email them to me at romancesexandlove@gmail.com.
Have a sensuous and sexy day,
Cyndi Harris aka "Madame C"
http://yoursexybest.com
Hello everyone. I finished my workout and the topic of dating kept swirling through my head. Yeah, I know, this sounds a little unusual. But, the pain of endless squats and lunges can cause your mind to wander to escape the pain.
I was thinking about some of the coaching sessions I did this week and the theme seems to be unhappy dating results. Dating really can be a great if you head into it with the right mind set. So, to start off the weekend, I decided to share a few dating tips that have brought me and many clients great success in the dating arena.
1. I Love Men. I love the way they look, smell, sound, and nearly everything else about them. I enjoy being friends with them and the cool information that they share with me. I like younger men, older men... basically men in general. I appreciate, honor, and respect them. Quite simply, I enjoy spending time with them. Do you notice a theme here?
Okay, I realize I am stating the obvious. Why would I spend time going on dates if I did not like men? Well, as an experienced relationship coach, I know women who going on dates that do not, in general, like men. Previous relationships or past experience with men overall have left them with a bitter or unpleasant "after taste". So, while they are looking to meet someone special. They already expect it to be a lousy experience. Well guess what, you cannot straddle the fence on this topic. Expecting to receive the worse usually means you will. This, my friends, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Which leads me to my next point.
2. Leave your previous relationship/s at the proverbial door. This is a fresh start for you and the person you are meeting for the first time. My philosophy is: I am meeting an interesting new person who may become a great friend. I come with no expectations or judgements. I want to keep my mind and heart open to receive the experience. I expect the same, but if my date starts discussing their prior relationship in negative terms then, I know that they are still emotionally attached to their ex. This usually means they are not ready to move forward with anyone new so, I include the evening as a new experience and move on with my life. Which brings up my next point...
3. Expect to have a good time. Sounds simple, right? It can be... if... you allow yourself to have fun. Dating can be a nerve-wracking at times. But hopefully, you have spent some time beforehand learning some basics about your date. If you have then, great. This means you like him enough to learn even more. Dating is a process that, in my opinion, should start lightly then if you both decide you want to continue seeing each other. You can open up and share more. For me, I visualize a rosebud; to really enjoy the beauty of a rose and not damage the petals. You must allow it to open up naturally. Rushing the process will destroy the flower and leave you feeling very disappointed. Successful dating is no different. Dating should be a pleasant experience not a job interview or a free psychological session to complain about your ex.
4. You are in control at all times. I am adding this one because, some women seem confused about how to handle certain situations that may occur during a date. Well, I am here to tell you something extremely important. You DO NOT have to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. During or after a date you may discover that your date has expectations that you are not comfortable fulfilling. ALWAYS respect yourself and say no. A gentleman would never put you in an uncomfortable position. He treats you with courtesy and respect and vice versa; you show him the same. Sharing a meal does not include sharing anything more.
I could go on and on, but I want to keep this as brief as possible. Dating can be fun; if you can get out of your head and move into your heart. I know it may feel a bit scary, but we all have been hurt in previous relationships. My advice is to live in the present moment. Because, if your past still has a choke-hold on your emotions. Dating and eventually find love is nearly impossible. So, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to live and love with newfound joy.
If you would like to discover ways to improve your dating and relationship success then, go to http://romancesexandlove.com and sign up on my "Bio" page to receive a Free 15 minute coaching session with me.
Have a sensuous and sexy Goddess style day
Cyndi Harris aka "Madame C"
